Torrent of Rain

I need to figure out a way to get all this out.

I arrived at the Emmahood pool at around 9:40. By 10, we had already checked-in and were in our suits. Panicking about my events, I just calmed myself by walking around the pool deck with my friend, watching the swimmers prepare for the warm-up. We swam 1000 yards- 400 choice, 300 IM kick, drill, swim, 200 IM progressing, and another 100 choice. It was CRAZY. I hate warming up in a pool full of swimmers who don't let you pass them at ALL. Even if you're at their feet and you're ten times faster. No offense, but really. There's a reason why there's something called "CIRCLE SWIM." Ugh. Anyway, after I FINALLY finished, I quickly pushed myself out of the pool and did two practice dives. I don't know why, but I can NEVER do two perfect dives in a row. x___x
Anywayyy, my first event was 200 IM.
Time: 2:48.
Don't know how to explain how I felt, but I nearly brokedown. I have NO idea why I did that. Haha, I did "good" because I dropped 4 seconds, and that's a lot. But I guess comparing myself to other swimmers was bit of a mistake. I refreshed myself by laying on my parka for a while and having a little talk with my coach. It feels like the only ones standing up for me is the other swimmers, my coach, and my friends. I don't believe in myself. Lack of confidence. :/ Everyone was so proud of my swim except for myself. Ugh, what's wrong with me? It takes time to improve.
Next swim was 100 fly.
Time: 1:23.
Oh god, slow time. But it was my first time swimming this event. Head coach Marshall Dortch told me that I did well for the first time, and that it was a good position to improve from. Me, disappointed in myself once again, thought it was a bad time. Geez, Koki. Can't you swim any faster? EVERYONE, and I DO mean EVERYONE, kept telling me that it was a good time and that I should feel proud of myself. Only, I didn't. TOTAL DISAPPOINTMENT. Nearly broke down once again.
Last event was 100 free.
Time: 1:06.
This was ONE event that I thought I'd done okay on.
Need....to...drop...4...more....seconds.....GRR. 4 seconds is a lot of time. If you just count it like one...two....three....four! then it doesn't seem long. But think of all the energy you'll need during the tiring, last laps to catch up.
Coach Bret gave me another little talk. He tried really hard to fix the fact of me being miserable and crappy about my swims.
His last words to me were: "I'm proud of you."
It seems like he's so excited to coach me for H20 polo next year. I heard him talking to an older swimmer while I was walking by, and said out loud:
"Yup! She's going to be a star player for H20 polo next year!"as if he were trying to let me hear it.
Me= ::rolls eyes::

He gave me six dollars to split with my friend for boba. :D I ran to him, jumped, gave him a hug, and left to Quickly and Tapioca Express with my friend and sister. What a day.

::plops self on bed::

Swimming is full of endurance, energy, and strategies.
I just need to raise my confidence level.