Today was a day unlike any other.
So I woke up 20 minutes late for swim practice. My alarm didn't go off, for some reason. So I got up lazily and hurried to practice. Since I haven't been swimming for a MONTH, everyone stopped swimming for a few seconds just to yell my name out loud in amazement. My coach gave me a big smile and said "I haven't seen YOU in a long time." Being my coach's favorite swimmer feels...great. Great, but filled with so much responsibility. He treats you as the leader of everyone else there. He expects you to go first in every set, no matter what stroke you're best at. That's what he usually does. But today, I felt so...behind. So behind. On everything. He wanted me to go first, but I refused. I refused because I knew he understood that I haven't been swimming for a month and that I needed some catching-up to do. I still swam pretty good. At least, for the first day in a few weeks.
So my dad picked me up from the pool and sent me home. I grabbed my two bags of chips and Pepsi. It was the last day of TIC, so I tried letting everything be perfect. Not perfect as in perfect perfect, but perfect enough to satisfy everyone and everything for the beautiful last day of class.
I ran into Sarah and Janvi after getting off of BART at the Berkeley station. Listening to my iPod, I began chatting with them and how we're going to miss TIC so much. So much, that we can't even let go. Letting go is the worst fear for us. For everyone. We walked up to the TIC classroom and arrived 2 hours early. As usual, we ran into the TIC lab excitedly and greeted a few people. Since the AM class was still there, we kept pretty quiet. After a few minutes though, Trev took us all outside for a party. A socializing party. But was it really? Sarah, Janvi, and I walked off to a table farthest away from everyone else- and the food. People came to visit us and our lonliness and talked about random stuff. Janvi, Sarah, Stevie, and Kyle also tried to stuff this...panda cookie/ chocolate thing into my mouth, but I refused. It was pretty sad, because Kyle came up with the idea of stuffing it down my shirt or in my shoe. Anyway, we sat there for 2 hours chatting, laughing, smiling, eating [Janvi and Sarah were desperate to take some food. They were practically drooling over themselves watching the AM class eat. Meaning that in the nicest possible way.] We climbing on tables and thought. Thought about what? TIC ending, of course. What else is there to think about when you're experiencing the last day of the best class of your life? Nothing. We tried to enjoy the last precious moments together, not wasting anything left behind.
For the rest of the 1-2 hours, we watched people play frisbee. I love how Terrance [Terrancie] jumps like a ballerina to catch it. =]
During the PM class, everyone laughed and talked for the last time. We went outside to eat. Eat eat eat. We ate wayyy too much food. Don't call me anorexic, everyone. Because I'm NOT. x[
I love group-gatherings. Like, when TIC is crowded into a big group. I love the laughter. I love the weirdness. I love the sadness. Sadness is "NO MORE TIC." It's "NO MORE BOBA." It's "NO MORE MOVIE OUTINGS." It's "NO MORE LECTURES." It's "NO MORE WORDRACER DURING CLASS." It's "a possibility of not seeing each other ever again."
People change. That's what kills me. I know I change sometimes also, but I'm sure I won't turn into some kind of goth that wears intense eye-liner. I hope TIC won't change. I hope everything will stay the way it is. Because the way it is right now is...perfect. Perfect, yet deserted. Summer classes are over for it, and there will not be a crazy class in the lab working hard on HTML and CSS. Websites. No more of that. It's gone. Time left us here at the other side of the tunnel.
TIC is sugar. It IS sugar. It IS hyperactivity. It IS fun. All the fun. Now gone. It IS Starbucks, Ben and Jerry's, Quickly, and Tapioca Express. It IS gelato. It is smelling Terrance's dark blue shirt, and Kyle's beautiful and sweet black sweater. It IS planning secret attacks on Vivian and poking her until she fell to the ground. TIC is the Lamquakes that occur usually at 4:32 after class. This class is watching Pokemon episodes and adoring Charmander on YouTube during class. It's Cindy, Sarah, Janvi, Kyle, Stevie, Terrance, Dennis, Vivian, YiYi, Andrew, Alex Lamquake, Sara, Trevie, Kass, Lloyd, Tansen, Max, Ulysses, Quad, Alex Hong, Jackie, and everyone else who's in TIC. It's the laughter that will never fade away inside our hearts.
I will miss the computer lab, the people, the food, the excitement. The everything. TIC is everything to me. It became a part of my life. Actually, it felt like it WAS my life. I didn't care about anything other than TIC. My life...but now it's gone. There's nothing left to it. Nothing will ever be the same anymore. TIC was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Maybe ever perfect-er than perfect. But I can't find any other words to describe it, because the description of this course deserves more than words. It deserves more than a meaning. It deserves everyone's hearts.
After the sad goodbyes and the "possibility of not seeing each other ever again", the BART takers went together to go home. The Fremont train came first, and right away, we lost Tansen and Trent. I hugged them goodbye and didn't say a word, because inside, I was crying. I didn't show it. Leaving them waiting at the BART station by themselves just kill me.
Two more stations and we arrived at MacArthur. Cindy, Kyle, Max, and Trev got off. I was about to break down. I said a goodbye that would last inside of me forever. Even if we are going to see each other in around 2 weeks, I was still collapsing. I felt so penetrated and hurt watching them get off. Four stations later, Dennis and I got off at Fruitvale station. Of course, it took us 10 minutes to say goodbye to everyone. I was seriously about to cry, but I tried to hold it in.
Sarah cried like 3 times, and I felt exactly like her. Exactly. Not even a little difference between the sadness of everything. I stared into blank space, wishing this had only been a nightmare. I wanted to be in a dream where TIC would last forever.
Right after I got home from the dramatic-ness on BART, I ran upstairs to my bedroom, shut the door, and cried for 30 minutes. Then I took a shower and cried there too. After that, I went downstairs and wrote 9 pages about TIC in my notebook. It is SO SAD. I can't even begin to talk about how much fun I had during those six weeks of class. Or else, tears will start to drop from my eyes again. For the 6th time.
I will miss everyone. Please don't change. Don't leave. Don't go away. Stay with us. Together.
