I'm starting to get frustrated with all the work I have to do. Essay here, essay there, one for school, one for college. The more and more I go into the college process, the more I doubt whether or not I'm a good candidate for schools; schools I once thought were close at hand are now at the far reaches of the academic universe. I feel like I'm working hard and reaching for a goal that may be too high. Do I need to submit an arts supplement? Would it really help me? Does it matter how much I write for this prompt?

I read on a blog put on by my school district that debate and forensics are two things admissions officers like to see because public speaking and critical thinking are the two main characteristics that are important to success in college and in life. However, I don't have either one, and right now, I believe that its the little boosts that may make or break my application.

Its like, it doesn't matter that I'm a good friend, I've helped friends through personal issues, family divorces, homework, college applications, sports; College applications have made me hypercritcal of myself. It's like, unless I can make myself look this way to a college, than I won't go any further in life.

I had told myself that I wasn't gonna really care anymore about trying to fit a certain look for a college. But the deeper I go, the more I see how other people around me have better this or better that and because I'm not sure how to make my particular gifts stand out in my application, I'm stuck.

I need a jumpstart.....like now.