This week was probably the longest week of the school year so far. Midterms flooded me with work, and the weather turning to rain and clouds made be feel too withdrawn to do any of it.

Right now, I'm going in circles. I'm attached in a way where, even though I don't want to be attached, somehow I come back around and enjoy the attachment. The best way I can describe this is with ellipses and planetary orbit. At one focus is the Sun, what I am orbiting around. As I get further away from the focus, my orbit slows down. My life feels like it's not being productive. All I want is to swing around and head back towards the sun. And as I'm coming back towards the sun, my life speeds up. I'm in a good mood, everything seems to going the way I want it to. When the sun and I are at their closest to each other, there's a feeling that I get that's hard to describe, but it's an enjoyable feeling. However, quickly I pass that point and drift away, to go around the orbit again.

The interesting thing about this analogy is that it also describes another characteristic of how I'm doing; No matter how close my orbit is to the sun, we never actually come in contact with each other. I continue to just revolve and put my attention on the one thing that I want to be near to but can't. It's like being the planet Jupiter in a sense. If I orbited any closer to the sun, I'd run into the asteroid belt and be pelted with problem after problem. So I keep my distance, but still wish that all these obstacles would just go away.