I've never experienced a big loss before. Or well, for me, probably the greatest loss I can think of is losing my favorite toy as a little kid. It's been I guess you could say, easy for me; There hasn't been any loss that's impacted me heavily. So when friends tell me of losses, troubles they have, I lack experience. I lack a testimony of some sort- an anecdote, that's the word; Something that goes across as "You're not the only one. I understand what it's like."

I end up just letting them open up. Sometimes, I even put myself in their shoes and get emotional myself. I want to say its the Pisces in me, though there are more realistic reasons somewhere. From hearing friends vent, one thing I've learned well is that "I know how you feel," is a pretty ignorant thing to say. I can't actually "know" how they feel, most of the time I haven't experienced any feeling like that myself.

"I understand," - Most of the time I do understand the situation and I try my best to help. When it comes to guy friends liking girls, advice is easy to give. When it comes to more deep topics that deal with family, friends or topics like love and death, the most I can do is help clear the issue up and see all the angles.

Heck, most of the time I wonder, "Is this even helpful?" What can I possibly do to actually help someone feel better. I can't provide the testimony, I can't give them sound advice, I can't provide anymore comfort than anyone else basically. So what is it that makes me reliable, trustworthy or approachable enough for friends to come and ask for help?

Though I've never lost something near and dear to me, I feel like I have an idea what it is actually like. Though I've never felt the actual emotions that come up, I try my best to attach myself to the emotions and figure out how I would have dealt with them.

Posted by Dennis Leave a comment